Drake - Certified Lover Boy
Hip-hop/Rap – Released September 3, 2021 – 21 songs, 1 hr 26 mins
*****ALBUM FACEOFF PICK*****
REID
Aubrey Drake Graham. What an unbelievable career he has made for himself. Certified Lover Boy is his sixth studio album and his fame continues to rise. Fans were waiting for this drop for months. Friends of mine know I’m a middleman on Drake fandom. Millions gush over his every move while others absolutely despise him. I don’t love or hate him. I’ve enjoyed several of his singles over the years and caught a live show at Budweiser Stage in Toronto and had a great night. His style has just never been the type to suck me in.
The first thing that stands out is the album cover. Drake is a staple of social media. He used the C.L.B. cover to create a meme. As someone who is a sucker for album artwork, it’s lame. The man is rich beyond belief. He could’ve created something with a bit of artistic integrity instead of some joke. Maybe it’ll be funny to look back on in ten years when emojis are 3D. Then comes the 21 songs at 86 minutes. As a marginal fan it didn’t give me much hope. It started off well though with Champagne Poetry. Jay-Z’s appearance in Love All was cool, he’s always a welcome addition. Love the lyric ‘You know the price of everything but the value of nothing’. The beat in Fair Trade with Travis Scott really hits. Second time that duo has teamed up for a song I enjoy, after SICKO MODE, even though I’m not big on Scott. Future makes an appearance for a few songs and those are skips for me. Died at Kawhi Leonard’s awkward appearance in the Way 2 Sexy video. Even though the song is brutal. The album hits a turning point at the Yebba’s Heartbreak interlude. Drake comes out angry in the second half with No Friends in the Industry, Knife Talk and 7am On Bridle Path. Some pretty good stuff in there including a Kanye West diss in the latter of the three. You Only Live Twice is a decent track with Lil Wayne and Rick Ross but by now I’m just ready for this to end. If you’re going to put out something this long, it can’t just be the same thing in repetition. On the final song, The Remorse, Drake raps ‘Y’all music gets watered down when you love em back…’ and it’s ironic on minute 84 of the album.
I think there’s a solid 45-50 minutes of music there. The problem is Certified Lover Boy is close on double that. If you love Drake, listen. There are some definite bright spots. But for me, it was more of the same. A style that doesn’t get me too excited.
Overall Rating: 6.5/10
Favourite Song: Fair Trade
ROZ
I have a very interesting relationship with Drake’s music, in that I didn’t go into this album fearing the worst. In fact, I was really high on Drake for a while; between 2013 and 2015, Nothing Was The Same and If You’re Reading This, It’s Too Late dominated a lot of my long car rides and gym sessions. Before that, I was indifferent. Around that time? I’d call myself a fan (I even went to see him live and he put on a pretty decent show). Now, that was a relatively long time ago. Since then, he hasn’t released anything that has blown me away, with his last full studio album Scorpion really disappointing me. So, did he turn it around with Certified Lover Boy? Let’s find out.
There were a surprising amount of highlights on this album for me, mainly due to the fantastic production team behind the man. At the end of the day I’m always going to be a sucker for a good beat, and Certified Lover Boy has these in spades. Champagne Poetry shows off 40’s next level production skills (I mentioned him in my Billie Eilish review as well, he's just great) as he combines his meticulous sample selection with a hard hitting, lo-fi beat. In The Bible, Fair Trade, Pipe Down, No Friends In The Industry (this one is especially good), 7am On Bridle Path, Race My Mind, You Only Live Twice - they all implement the signature Drake sound (reverbed sample tucked away in the back, big 808 drums, very sparse high end frequencies) and have a lot of sonic qualities than I enjoy in this “rap-pop” genre Drake has nestled into. N 2 Deep and You Only Live Twice feature Jay Z and the combination of Rick Ross/Lil Wayne respectively, and all three of them hit it out of the park. The Lil Wayne verse goes especially hard (if you can ignore all the disgusting shit).
On the flipside of that coin, there are some real dumpster fires too. Girls Want Girls has what I believe to be the deepest statement I’ve ever heard on a record, “say that you’re a lesbian girl, me too”. Drake just actually called himself a lesbian. Anyway, Way 2 Sexy is also annoyingly bad and joins the list of stinkers along with Papi’s Home, TSU and IMY2 (what a waste of a Kid Cudi feature). All in all, Certified Lover Boy did nothing to break away from Drake’s usual mold, which didn’t exactly surprise me. After all, why change something that’s printing you money? Literally every song got into the top 40 chart. Every single one. My God he’s unstoppable.
Let’s face it, Drake is a superstar and his trajectory is only going up. He has a cookie cutter approach to his craft so when you go through his catalogue you can assume a few things: the flow will probably be acceptable, the production side of it will be an entire galaxy away from him, he’s going to be talking shit about some other artists (Ye in this case), and he’ll be bragging about his own life. And yes, he may very well be using a ghostwriter the entire time but hey…. we’re here to have fun right? That’s what it’s all about…..right? The fact that I liked more songs than I disliked on this album makes me feel dirty, to be honest. I guess sometimes it’s just nice to turn your brain off and listen to your favorite Degrassi High actor complain about rich people things. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be in the corner bumping You Only Live Twice while crying into my shirt.
Overall Rating: 6.3/10
Favourite Song: No Friends In The Industry
LUNDI
Drake is the quintessential pop star who sometimes acts hard and raps words written by someone else for 30 seconds. Yeah I’m coming with fire on this one.
Nothing at all changes for Drake on Certified Lover Boy. He has a formula that has made him one of the richest and most famous stars in the world and he sticks to the script that works. It’s hard to blame him given the success but sonically and lyrically he just seems stubborn and resistant to change. The album is a blur of repetitive structure that drags much much too long.
An obscene amount of people totaling 38 get production credits on CLB (wonder how many ghost writers) which is extreme but part of the rap business however once again Drake is not to be found on the list. He doesn’t write, he doesn’t produce. How is this guy so popular? It has boggled this writers mind for many many years.
Drake again is going for the streaming records which power today’s music business, as CLB is an effort to build on his commanding lead of number 1 singles and albums. There’s no effort here to produce quality art, there’s just a goal to produce enough that something might stick.
21 tracks, 1 hour and 26 minutes x 15 times listening. I’ve wasted about day of my life for this so I had to get my shots in. It’s the first time this hobby felt like a chore.
Straight trash homie. I got nothing else to say.
Overall Rating: 2.2/10
Favourite Song: The last one because it means this experience was over.
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WINNER OF THE ALBUM FACE-OFF:
KANYE WEST - DONDA
REID
Kanye and Drake’s on-again off-again feud is most certainly on right now and in full gear. There’s plenty of information out there, who really knows what’s fact or fiction. One thing that seems undoubtedly true is these hip-hop juggernauts are at odds. Conspiracy theory time – maybe they are fabricating all of this, WWE-style, to garner attention. They’re both geniuses and while it wouldn’t surprise me, verses like this from Drake on 7am on Bridle Path have me putting away the tinfoil hat.
“Told you I’m aimin’ straight for the head. Now they “Amen” and “Please”.
I can give a fuck about who designing your sneakers and tees.
Had somebody put you on a guilt and you play with my seed.
Trust me, there’s some shit you really gotta come see to believe.
That’s why your people not believers, they all leavin’ ya’.
That’s why you buyin’ into the hype that the press feedin’ ya’
You know the fourth level of jealousy is called “Media.”
Isn’t that an ironic revelation? Get that address to your driver, make it your destination
‘Stead of just a post out of desperation.”
Yeeesh. He really killed it here in the version of him I appreciate most – angry Drake.
Unfortunately for Aubrey, that’s where his wins end. The nod between Certified Lover Boy and Donda goes to Mr. West for me. Both albums are painfully long. Both have their Jay-Z appearances. Both have song solid songs and some I hope to never hear again. Both make me long for the days of 90’s and early 2000’s rap where songs featured rappers like Eminem, Biggie, Dre, Method Man, Redman and Busta Rhymes that would hop on a track and kill it. From purely a rap standpoint, I think Drake has more quality rhymes and verses. But Donda has four or five singles I’d choose over anything on C.L.B. and therein lies the difference.
LUNDI
A few points might not seem like a lot but it’s a flawless victory for Kanye (6.2) as Drake’s (2.2) head lands on a spike. CLB is straight unlistenable trash while at least a few songs from Donda are enjoyable. Someone else can break streaming records for them though, I’m going back to listening to good music.
ROZ
For me, this is an easy choice. While Donda isn’t perfect, it’s leaps and bounds ahead both lyrically and artistically. Going into the face-off I always knew that unless Kanye really went off the deep end and made Jesus Is King on crack or a shittier version of Ye, he’d win this one handedly. Not only is this the case, but Donda exceeded all of my expectations - yeah it’s messy, yeah it’s bloated, but there’s actual emotion behind it. You can feel the pain in his voice, his sadness, his happiness. That’s music. Meanwhile, Drake rapped about being a lesbian (albeit over some fire beats, so style points there at least). Let’s face it: even when all of the beef is squashed between these two artists, people will be listening to tracks from Donda for years to come while Certified Lover Boy will be long forgotten.
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