Post Malone - Twelve Carat Toothache
Pop/R&B – Released June 3, 2022 – 14 songs, 43 mins
LUNDI
You ever write a painful work email where you outline everything that’s wrong with a situation only to finish it with a positive spin? Well here’s my review on Post Malone’s Twelve Carat Toothache.
My ears are ringing. The auto tune is over killed to the point you can feel the vibrating vocals in your toes. Please make it stop. It’s way too overdone. Sure that’s the style but it’s used here where absolutely not necessary. Cranked to a level of 10 when in actuality Post Malone has the singing chops to stand on his own. The whole album is manipulated to the point it feels more like a gimmick especially in the more laid back tracks like Lemon Tree and Waiting for a Miracle. It truly feels like the question in the studio is “How can we make him sound worse?”.
Not to be outdone here are the lazy and sleepy beats Post Malone sings and raps over. Not every artist is lucky enough to have access to producers at the elite level of Kendrick or better yet the Kanye-like prowess to make your own backing tracks, but TCT is downright boring. What you hear in the first 5 seconds of each track is mostly just looped until the song ends. Not even a Weeknd feature on One Right Now can save this production. No surprises, no change ups, just a fast ball down the middle every time.
If you’re still sticking around let me tell you it doesn’t get any better when you look into the lyrics. There’s a few hard hitting emotional verses but the majority of the album is singing nonsense and cursing. My TSR brother Steve Reid often points out his distaste for sad music and how it wears on him, which is the feeling induced in me here. Give me a honest heartfelt ballad with meaning any day over this crap.
Now here’s the kicker with Post Malone’e latest: When you sit back and take off the critical analysis hat and just listen with zero expectations the album is oddly enough kinda enjoyable. Despite its many foundational flaws in the grand scheme of music, there’s absolutely a reason the masses enjoy Posty. Post Malone is sort of like another pop culture sensation, The Office. Fun? Sure. Overrated? Most definitely. Best enjoyed when you ignore the cringe and eye roll worthy moments? Absolutely. Best to just leave it in the background and don’t think about it too much.
Toothache is bad in so many ways yet still weirdly enjoyable. Here’s hoping for a heel turn Nirvana inspired album next time out. Signing off, Always Tired As Well.
Overall Rating: 6.3/10
Favourite Song: When I’m Alone
ROZ
Post Malone, arguably the nicest man in the pop culture world, the golden retriever of all pop music stars, has put out a brand new album right as the summer season begins kicking off. Posty, being no stranger to releasing absolute bangers, takes it upon himself to bring the vibes. But the question is, will we vibe with him?
Uh oh. I am not vibing, Austin - I expected better from you. I've watched countless videos and interviews of this guy because his energy and personality are absolutely infectious - which is exactly why this pains me. The production value is low; perhaps low is the incorrect term, but it damn sure is generic.
The only songs that scratched my production itch were the Kanye, Say You Will-esque inclinations of Euthanasia and the supremely effective ear-worm/soon to be massive pop summer hit One Right Now, the latter being straight out of feature artist The Weeknd's production playbook. From the 1980's drum programming to the pulsing sawtooth bass lines, honestly just surprising that this wasn't slapped on the Weeknd’s new album (which was fantastic, by the way). Otherwise, I found it extremely difficult to get invested in a majority of the album and even when the songs played their "fun filler on a summer pop album" role, those tracks were sadly, and ultimately, very forgettable.
Mr. Malone is known for two things in this world: drinking ice cold bud lights and serenading pop vocals over country and hip hop infusions. After a dozen listens of TCT one thing is certain: for all the genuine moments he creates, two manufactured generic pop moments come along with it. TCT is the epitome of dialing up a pop phenom to an absolute 12; Posts uniquely vibrato singing voice is way over the top, at points sounding like the poor man is getting electro-shock therapy. Post Malone continues to flanderize himself more and more as his music takes on a twisted life of its own - combining the worst parts of country with the worst parts of pop. This is an album that I will not be returning to any time soon.
Overall Rating: 5.5/10
Favourite Song: One Right Now
REID
Austin Richard Post, aka Post Malone or ‘dude with the face tatts’ is next in line for a Too Sweet Review. With three studio albums under his belt, nine grammy nominations and title of ‘Every mother’s worst nightmare’, Post has cemented himself in the music industry in short order. He’s done so by creating his own genre, meandering between rap, R&B, pop and trap with a unique vocal style. He tries to keep the momentum going on Twelve Carat Toothache.
The slow piano introduction of Reputation kicks the album off. It’s a heartfelt message on the burden and expectations of fame. He sings ‘I got a reputation that I can’t deny. You’re the superstar, Entertain us’. He goes on to sing ‘I was born to raise hell, I was born to take pills….I was born to f*ck hoes, I was born to f*ck up...’ The song is delivered like a cry for help as the detrimental effects of his lifestyle represent painful inevitability. Interesting start to the album. He follows it up with… a party song featuring rapper, Roddy Ricch, ultimately erasing the effectiveness of the opener. Digging for sentiment on one song only to flip it around and clout chase on the next is certainly a route to take. The hypocrisy continues on songs like One Right Now (feat. The Weeknd) and Hateful. On the former he and fellow fuckboy boast on their number and on the latter he’s heartbroken. Listen, I understand those two can be dissected further and don’t necessarily cross one another out but similar to songs one and two, it’s in the delivery. The heel turn from heartbreak to larger than life confidence is tough to get behind. Thumbs down!
The music throughout takes a backseat to the vocals creating a generally boring result. There were a few highlights though like pop beats Wrapped Around Your Finger, I Like You (feat. Doja Cat), Waiting For Never and cool synth beat, Insane. Unfortunately, they were all completely overshadowed by the overproduced singing. Post is on record as saying he can’t sing without autotune but it’s modified far past the point of enjoyment and I’m really not sure how he, or members of his record label can think otherwise.
Post Malone strikes out on Twelve Carat Toothache. While he may be Waiting For A Miracle or Waiting For Never, this listener was waiting for this listening experience to end.
Overall Rating – 4.0/10
Favourite Song – Waiting For Never